خطرات احساسی رابطه جنسی پیش از ازدواج- بخش دوم

«یادم نمی‌آید دختر یا پسری را دیده باشم که بخاطر عقب انداختن رابطه‌جنسی پشیمان بوده باشند، اما دختر و پسرهای بسیار زیادی را دیدم که شدیداً بخاطر روابط‌جنسی خود پشیمان بودند. هیچکس جوانان را برای عواقب بعدی روابط‌جنسی آماده نمی‌کند: پایین آوردن اعتمادبه‌نفس، حس ناامیدکننده مورد سوءاستفاده قرار گرفتن، عذاب‌وجدان سوءاستفاده از دیگران، ناراحتی برای دروغ گفتن و پنهان‌کاری از خانواده، مشکل در ترک اعتیاد به رابطه‌جنسی، حس تنفر از خود بخاطر دنبال فردی دیگر گشتن به جای زنده کردن نفس خود بعد از هر بر هم خوردن رابطه. هیچکس به جوانان نمی‌گوید که حتی ممکن است سال‌ها طول بکشد تا از تاثیرات این تحربیات جنسی آزاد شوند.

۱۰) با شخصیت دادن به خودتان، فردی با شخصیتی مشابه -- کسی که دوست دارید با او ازدواج کنید و از او صاحب فرزند شوید -- را به سمت خود خواهید کشاند.

«من با مردان زیادی رابطه‌جنسی داشته‌ام اما در همه آن زمان‌ها مست بوده‌ام و آن زمان فکر نمی‌کردم که اصلاً مهم است. الان می‌فهمم که به هرکدام از آن مردها بخشی از خودم را داده‌ام. دیگر آن دردها را نمی‌خواهم. می‌خواهم زندگی جدیدی را شروع کنم و دیگر تا زمان ازدواجم رابطه‌جنسی نداشته باشم.»

رابطه‌جنسی می‌تواند منبع لذت و شادکامی باشد. اما مشخص است که می‌تواند منبع درد و زخم‌های عمیق هم شود. فرق آن رابطه‌ای است که در آن شکل می‌گیرد. رابطه‌جنسی اگر در یک رابطه‌ متعهد و عاشقانه باشد که از قدیم به آن ازدواج می‌گفته‌ایم، حس لذت‌، خوشبختی، معنا و مفهوم به زندگی می‌دهد. 

.
جهت مشاهده بخش نخست مقاله روی لینک زیر کلیک کنید:
.

.
.
.
منابع:
.

1. R. A. Hatcher, J. Trussell, F. H. Stewart, et al. Contraceptive technology. 18th Revised ed. (New York: Ardent Media, Inc., 2005).

2. S. Ahmed, T. Lutalo, M. Wawer, et al., "HIV incidence and sexually transmitted disease prevalence associated with condom use: A population study in Rakai, Uganda," AIDS, 15 (16) 2001, 2171-2179.

3. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. Workshop Summary: Scientific Evidence on Condom Effectiveness for Sexually
Transmitted Disease (STD) Prevention. Bethesda, MD: National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases; 2001. Available from: http://www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/ stds/condomreport.pdf. Accessed: 2005 Jun 16.

4. R. L. Winer, J. P. Hughes, Q. Feng, et al., "Condom use and the risk of genital human papillomavirus infection in young women," New England Journal of Medicine, 354, 2006, 2645-2654.

5. Munoz N., "Human papillomavirus and cancer: the epidemiological evidence," Journal of Clinical Virology, 2000, 19(1-2):1-5.National Institutes of Health , Scientific evidence on condom effectiveness for sexually transmitted disease prevention, 2000. www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/stds/condomreport.pdf

6. National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, With one voice: America's adults and teens sound off about teen pregnancy. (Washington, D.C., 2004).

7. A. Nicholi, "A new dimension of the youth culture," The American Journal of Psychiatry, 131, 396-401.

8. J. DeLamater, "Gender differences in sexual scenarios." In K. Kelley (Ed.), Females, males, and sexuality. (Albany, NY: State University of New York at Albany Press, 1987), 127-140.

9. Bob Bartlett, "Going all the way," Momentum (April/May, 1993), 36.

10. N. Glenn & E. Marquardt, Hooking up, hanging out, and hoping for Mr. Right: College women on dating and mating today. (New York: Institute for American Values, 2001).

11. George Eager, Love, dating, and sex. (Valdosta, GA: Mailbox Club Books, 1989).

12. DeLamater. See also N. B. Moore & J. K. Davidson, "Guilt about first intercourse," Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 23, 1997, 29-46.

13. N.B. Moore & J.K. Davidson, "Guilt about first intercourse: An antecedent of sexual dissatisfaction among college women. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 23, 29-46.

14. Eager.

15. L. Ali & J. Scelfo, "Choosing virginity," Newsweek (December 9, 2002), 6.

16. K. Kiniorski, "The aftermath of abortion," The American Feminist (Spring, 1998), 6-7.

17. D. Reardon, Making abortion rare. (Springfield, IL: Acorn Books, 1996).

18. S. A. Walders, "Mourning life lost to hasty decision," The American Feminist (Spring, 1998), 9.

19. See, for example, Project Rachel, www.marquette.edu/rachel.

20. National guidelines for sexuality and character education. (Austin, TX: Medical Institute for Sexual Health, 1996).

21. J. McDowell & D. Day, Why wait. (San Bernadino, CA: Here's Life Publishers, 1987).

22. T. Hoff, L. Greene, & J. Davis. National survey of adolescents and young adults: Sexual health knowledge, attitudes, and experiences. Kaiser Family Foundation, 2003. This survey found that one-third of all teens — including three-quarters of sexually active adolescents — said they had engaged in oral sex. Two in five who had engaged in oral sex said that they did not consider it to be as big a deal as intercourse.

23. A Jarrell, "The face of teenage sex grows younger," The New York Times (April 2, 2000), B-1.

24. "Oral sex and STDs," Sexual Health Update, www.medinstitute.org (Spring, 2003).

25. J. Kikuchi, " Rhode Island develops successful intervention program for adolescents," National Coalition Against Sexual Assault Newsletter (Fall 1988).

26. McDowell & Day.

27. National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, CASA national survey of American attitudes on substance abuse: Teen dating and sexual activity, 2004. This survey reported that 45% of teens now say they have friends who regularly view pornography on the Internet.

28. S. Covey, The 7 habits of highly effective teens. (New York: Fireside Books, 1998), 239.

29. Quoted in S. Covey, The 6 most important decisions you'll ever make. (Salt Lake City: FranklinCovey Co., 2006), 208.

30. McDowell & Day.

31. M. W. Waller, et al., "Gender differences in association between depressive symptoms and patterns of substance abuse and risky sexual behavior among a nationally representative sample of U.S. adolescents," Archives of Women's Mental Health, 9, 139-150, 2006.

32. D. Hallfors, et al., "Which comes first in adolescence — sex and drugs or depression?", American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 29, 163-170, 2005.

33. Hardwired to connect. (New York: Institute for American Values, 2003).

34. Kieran Sawyer, Sex and the teenager. (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1990).

35. D. Orr, M. Beiter, & G. Ingersoll, "Premature sexual activity as an indicator of psychosocial risk," Pediatrics, 87, 141-147.

36. R. E. Rector, K. A. Johnson, & L. R. Noyes. "Sexually active teenagers are more likely to be depressed and to commit suicide." A report of the Heritage Center for data analysis (CDA03-4), 2003.

37. McDowell & Day.

38. R. E. Rector, et al. "What do parents want in sex education programs?" Backgrounder, No. 1722, 2004.

39. Quoted in H. & M. Lewis, The parents' guide to teenage sex and pregnancy. (New York: St. Martin's Press, 1980).

40. McDowell & Day.

41. McDowell & Day.

42. M. Scarf, Intimate partners. (New York: Ballantine, 1996).

43. A. DeMaris & W. MacDonald, "Premarital cohabitation and marital instability," Journal of Marriage and the Family,55, 1993, 399-407. See also P. Smock, "Cohabitation in the United States," Annual Review of Sociology, 26, 2000, 1-20.

44. J. Teachman, "Premarital sex, premarital cohabitation, and the risk of subsequent marital dissolution among women," Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 2003, 444-455.

45. Personal communication.

46. Personal communication.

47. I'm indebted for the first seven of these "rewards of waiting" to Kristine Napier's book, The power of abstinence(New York: Avon, 1996).

48. Thanks to Dr. Janet Smith for this point.

49. Mary-Louise Kurey, Standing with courage. (Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor, Inc., 2002).

جهت مشاهده بخش نخست این مقاله روی لینک زیر کلیک کنید

خطرات احساسی رابطه جنسی پیش از ازدواج- بخش نخست